Soul Sessions by CreativeMind

How Resistance Creates Success

November 22, 2022 Debra Berndt Maldonado and Robert Maldonado PhD Life Coach Training and Personal Transformation Experts Season 6 Episode 138
Soul Sessions by CreativeMind
How Resistance Creates Success
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

In this episode, we discuss the power of having an entrepreneurial mindset when facing change. We explore:

  • The importance of discipline in mindset and action and the practice of non-attachment
  • How you need a higher purpose when working with resistance
  • How to see through the illusion of a limited world and see possibilities for your dreams


In this new series, we will talk about the Entrepreneurial Mindset Theory and why everyone needs to adopt this mindset in our changing world, whether they want to start a business or just be fulfilled in their life.

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How Resistance Creates Change Transcript

Debra Maldonado  00:00

Welcome to Soul Sessions with CreativeMind with Debra Berndt Maldonado and Dr. Rob Maldonado of CreativeMind. Join us each week for inspiring conversation about personal development based on Jungian philosophy, Eastern spirituality, and social neuroscience. Spend each week with us to explore deep topics in a practical way. Let's begin. 


Debra Maldonado  00:28 

Hello, welcome to another episode of Soul Sessions with CreativeMind. I'm Debra Maldonado, here with Dr. Rob Maldonado. We are continuing our series on the entrepreneurial mindset. This is our last segment, in which we're going to talk about resistance. But before we begin, I want to remind you, if you are watching us on YouTube, click the button here in the corner, and subscribe to our channel. If you are listening to us on podcast services, iTunes, and Spotify, or any broadcast services for podcasts, make sure you subscribe to our show and get every episode. Let's review what the entrepreneurial mindset is and why everyone should know about it.


Robert Maldonado  01:23

From the time we started our business, we were interested in what the psychology of success and an entrepreneur is. Is there such a thing, first of all? Does it really hold water? Our learning curve throughout starting and ramping up the business was this idea that there must be a psychology and understanding of the principles of success that we can apply in our everyday work, in creating our business. One of the great things we found was this idea of the entrepreneurial mindset theory. It's an actual psychology based on research and understanding of how the mind works that talks about the principles of success in a psychological sense, not in a business sense. We all understand, admit, and acknowledge that we need to learn business principles. That's a given. But what makes a difference? Those business principles are out there, a lot of people have access to them. What makes one person succeed in a tremendous way, and another person never be able to get off the ground? It's the mindset.


Debra Maldonado  03:07

One can follow the same exact theory, strategy, formulas, some will be wildly successful, other people will feel like they're struggling.They'll blame it on the formula, or the marketing, or the market. When I first started, I was changing my brand a lot before you and I worked together, I had changed my title every couple of weeks, I'm now this kind of coach, I’m that kind of coach. I thought maybe that's why I'm not successful. I started digging deep, working with a coach to help me see what's in my mind that's creating it. That has always been my go to since that moment. Always the first step is the outside is showing something inside.


Robert Maldonado  03:53

We talked a little bit about the personality traits that go into a successful entrepreneur. We talked about the theory itself a little bit. Now we are wrapping it up and putting it all together, talking about one of the most important elements of being an entrepreneur: dealing with resistance. Because it's not a question of if resistance comes up. It's a definite it's going to come up. But guess what? We want it to come up. It's a useful principle to understand that resistance is not bad, doesn't mean I should stop.


Debra Maldonado  04:42

It's not a sign that this is not right for you, or it's too hard, maybe you should try something else.


Robert Maldonado  04:50

If we read it that way, we're going to stop because it's going to come up, resistance is not optional, it’s going to come up. Anyone who is successful in any endeavor, but especially as an entrepreneur, in the arts as well, knows how to work with resistance, knows how to put it to work for their own advantage.


Debra Maldonado  05:17

If you think about your comfort zone being a bubble of your current reality, outside that bubble is where all your dreams are, the inside of the bubble is your normal conditioned default to what you can create. A lot of people try to rearrange the furniture inside their bubble, maybe get another job that pays, but it's still the same result. When you’re stepping out as an entrepreneur, or changing careers, or going for a promotion, or doing something big in your life, some project you want to launch, it takes something else that you haven't learned yet, something you haven't made conscious yet, that you need a resource you haven't even had experienced yet. Your ego’s going to resist popping that bubble, it’s going to suppress you and stay inside, change is scary to the ego. When we're hitting that resistance, that's a good sign because we're on that edge, we're hitting that edge of something new. If we just keep holding on, things will start to change. Most people hit the resistance, try another way, maybe go around the bubble a little bit, maybe try this angle, hit the resistance, they're just going in circles and not really pressing through. What kind of mindset do we need to deal with this resistance? If we're going to deal with it, if all our hopes, dreams, biggest desires are on the other side of the resistance, how do we get through it?


Robert Maldonado  06:59

You're an entrepreneur and have a vision, you're ready to start your practice, your business, your project. A lot of people focus on the action, they think it's the right action, the right strategy, the right formula that's going to make me successful. We do advocate for action, you have to take action, without the action you don't receive success. But before the action occurs, you have to get your mind straight, you have to understand that your vision is already there, the way the universe exists for us is as potential. The thoughts you have, the idea you have, already exists there. It's locked into universal presence we call the world. But it's locked up in potential, the action is going to release it, make it what we call a reality. You have to understand the principle that the thought is the one that creates the action, is the one through which you receive, which is a very different way of understanding the world than the typical way we're taught. The worker mentality is one of the work creates the success, the work creates the money, the work creates the reward. That’s a misunderstanding of how the world works.


Debra Maldonado  08:54

What if someone has the vision, they start acting toward it, they hit that resistance, what would you say is the mindset key to handle that? We all had that “I want to try this”, we start, go out there. One of the big things we'll talk about today is the idea of non-attachment. When you have a dream, of course you care about it, you're passionate about it. But when it becomes attachment, there's a fear wrapped up in it, a fear of “I'm not going to get it.” When we're acting from attachment, we are carrying that big vision, but we're dragging along an anchor that's dragging on the bottom of the ocean that says “It's not going to happen. If it doesn't happen, my life is going to be destroyed. I'm putting all my worth into this thing happening, or my identity.” All those things stop us from making that vision because it's tainted in the ego’s agenda. Reach the dream but don't look like a fool, reach the dream but don't fail, reach the dream but don't lose all your money, reach the dream but don't let your parents not feel proud of you.


Robert Maldonado  10:21

We can think of the vision as the seed, it's the seed of what you're going to create, the action is creating the conditions for the seed to grow. As you take action, there's going to be results. Every action yields a result. It's basic physics, cause and effect. Anytime you take an action, there’ll be results. In practicing non-attachment, the principle is very different than the usual approach. Instead of thinking in positive or negative, in reward or punishment, in good and bad results, you drop that there are no good or bad results. The focus is on the action. Are you staying in action consistent with your vision? If yes, you don't worry about the results, which is a very difficult concept for people to accept because they want to read the world in positive or negative, that duality of good and bad. Is this good for me or is this bad for me? But what happens in that scenario is you go back to ego, because the ego is the one that sees the world in black and white, good and bad. It's very functional. It works for survival, but not for creating.


Debra Maldonado  11:55

I just want to point out the word you used. Do not worry about the results. He did not say “you don't care about the result.” Think of that word, “worry”. What does that imply? I just wanted to pull that out there because I thought that was such a powerful part of this non-attachment. What is worry? Worry means you don't really believe it's going to happen, or it's possible. You have a teenager that says they're going to be home by 10. But it's 10:30, they’re not home yet. What do you do? You worry. Worry is fear, worried if they are going to be safe. When you're bringing that worry into your action, you’re basically tainting it with a part of belief “I don't know if it's going to work, maybe it will.” That’s ego attachment. I thought it was interesting that you said “You don't worry about the result.” Don't worry, be happy. You can care but you don't have to worry. You can care without worrying.


Robert Maldonado  13:11

The intention is more on the action. You're not so concerned about whether the action is successful or unsuccessful. You drop that judgment, you focus on how I can make this action the best possible action I can take, given the parameters of my vision. That's the focus. It frees you up from that worry of what results you get. Do you look at results? Of course, but you look at them as information.


Debra Maldonado  13:59

Not as blame, not as defeat, not as discouragement. Just “That's interesting.” 


Robert Maldonado  14:07

Notice that when you do that, there is no way you can make an error because you're not framing your actions in the framework of success or failure. You're framing your action in the framework of your higher vision, higher purpose, you're moving towards your higher purpose. The feedback, the results is giving you information of how you can better your actions, make your actions more aligned with your vision, with your higher purpose. It creates a purification process. The more action you take, the more pure your vision becomes because it's honing it, it's sculpting it, it’s refining it continuously.


Debra Maldonado  15:07

Wouldn't you say it's more than just changing your actions, because if you're getting the same result over and over, you keep hitting a wall, the feedback is “There's a pattern here.” Not only do I have to change my action, but what am I thinking? What am I bringing in? Am I attached? Am I holding an idea I'm not even conscious of? The result is showing us what's stopping us from having a result. Let's say you're selling a service, everyone's telling you you're too expensive. A lot of coaches or service people will say "I'm getting a lot of feedback that I'm too expensive, maybe that's the problem, let me change my prices, let me lower them.” They lower their prices, but they still get that they're too expensive. What they really need to work on is their mindset around receiving, around their pricing, they need to be aligned that it's worth it. If they don't think it's worth it, the people that come into their business are going to reflect that. It's not about “Instagram doesn't work for me, I'm gonna try YouTube, or marketing this way, or this brand doesn't work”, it's always looking at what's in the mind, not just the action.


Robert Maldonado  16:26

Then resistance begins to take on a different function. Any result is giving you information, what happens when you see those patterns of “This is not moving me towards my higher vision”, it's giving you information about your own mind. The understanding from the entrepreneurial mindset theory is that it's the mind that is creating the obstruction. The action is simply bringing it to consciousness, to awareness, it's showing it to you. It’s the best possible way to do personal development, to be an entrepreneur, if you understand this principle. Every action you take reveals to you more of your mind, the things that appear to push back, to resist, are actually useful to you. They're the points where you have to learn, you have to take your time and ask “What is this teaching me about my own mind? What is this telling me about why I'm so interested in creating this business? Why do I have this vision?”


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Debra Maldonado  18:46

This can also reflect the things that are stopping you. When you’re holding the vision, believing in it, it's becoming non-attachment and purifying your mind, the results will show you where you’re in alignment, where you're connected to that higher purpose and non-attachment. You call it the superpower.


Robert Maldonado  19:16

It is a superpower that we as entrepreneurs have because it liberates us from the hard work approach. A lot of coaches teach to push through it, just muscle your way through it, don't look back, don't worry about what's going to happen. There's something to that. We know persistence and focus are very powerful. But the mindset theory says something different. It says your vision is already created. If you have the vision and you're clear on that vision, it's already there. The actions are simply to receive it. It's a more effortless way of creating and doing your business, of creating your life. Because the actions you're taking are in alignment with your higher vision. They're not hard work, they're the things you love to do. They're in alignment with who you are and what your purpose is. Therefore, they don't feel like work. They feel more like creative work. It might look like hard work from the outside though. But essentially that's what you do. That's who you are. Even if you weren't doing your business, that's what you would be doing. Therefore, it's not that hard struggle to get things done.


Debra Maldonado  21:06

Imagine a maze, in the middle of the maze is your dream. You enter the maze, there's all the twists and turns, going down the wrong road. Your attitude toward the wrong curve is going to dictate how much you’re going to keep going. If you can say “I learned one way not to do this, I learned where my mind was, when I'm intuitive, I feel like I know to turn left or right, I'm more in touch with who I am, I'm more non-attached.” This is how things flow. You're getting the tools to work with your mind and understand that muscle of holding the vision, but knowing that no matter what you do, or how many mistakes you make, how many wrong turns you make, that goal is there already, it's inevitable that you will get it. That's non-attachment, that it's inevitable. I don't have to worry about my results, I know they're there, I'm just going to have to deal with the journey to get there. The journey is always filled with landmines, blocks, barriers. It doesn't mean you're doing it wrong, it means that you are creating something new. I found that every obstacle for me has been so rewarding and so much lesson and learning from them.


Robert Maldonado  22:28

It requires discipline. The natural tendency in the mind is to think in problems. The ego’s always looking for problems to solve. What is the problem? Let's solve it and move on. But in the mindset theory, we're relishing the resistance. We're saying “This is possibility. There's something here that I’m not aware of yet. Therefore it gives me an opportunity to learn and grow. It opens up a new avenue of possibilities.” When resistance shows up, we're celebrating it because we're hitting upon the good stuff. Something's coming up that's pushing back. Therefore, something new is about to come into our possibilities.


Debra Maldonado  23:28

When I first started doing hypnotherapy, I had a flat tire. Someone broke into my car and stole all my checks in my appointment. All these things were happening. I called my coach at the time and said “Why are all these things happening? I feel like everything's spinning.” She said “Because you're up to something.” I thought that was such a great reframe. Instead of thinking the universe is telling me it's not the right time, or the universe is telling me I really can't handle all this. No, this is all new stuff. All the things you didn't have to face in your comfort zone are going to be faced when you stepped out of it. It only makes you stronger, more courageous, more powerful. How do we become more flexible in this time? With non-attachment you become flexible, not so rigid when it comes to developing, just like any art. I'm a writer, when you write, you write that first draft without attachment, you just write down everything, you're not editing while you're writing. You want to keep in that flow of the first draft. This is just the first draft, there's going to be a second draft, a third draft, you're not so attached to make it perfect the first time. That's how creativity works. You can't be creative from such a left brain place of “Everything has to have so much structure, everything has to fall into a certain order.”


Robert Maldonado  25:03

The discipline to drop the judgment of good and bad, right and wrong, to really think creatively through things, to stay open, not go with the physical reaction that often comes when things don't work out, or unexpected things come up. People ask this question in different variations “Why should I act with non-attachment if the whole world or most of the world is acting from attachment and seems to be gaining some traction and creating success for themselves? Why should I practice non-attachment? Won't that prevent me from enjoying the results of my work?” It's the contrary, you’ll be able to enjoy life in a more meaningful way because you're not worried about losing the things you're creating. Non-attachment means you understand the true nature of reality. The true nature of reality is fleeting, it's impermanent. As Buddha says, impermanence is the nature of the world. You can test this, this is not metaphysics, look at the world around you. Is it changing? When we act out of attachment, which is an impossibility, we can't be attached to anything, we can't really hold on to things, but when we act that way, we're taught that way, we're acting out of delusion, we're delusional, we're thinking that things are going to be different than they are, that things are going to be permanent, stable, consistent. That is not the way the world is. Observe it, find something that's still static for a prolonged period of time, you will not find it.


Debra Maldonado  27:28

It's like going on vacation that you plan. It's going to be over. This life is going to be over, there's nothing you can really hang on to. Our pets or people we love change. Our house eventually needs repair, a car needs repair, we have to upgrade our computers every couple of months, software download, get a new iPhone every year, everything is in constant flux, now even more. The world is in more a transition and a speeding up of change. If we're trying to hang on to everything, it can create such anxiety.


Robert Maldonado  28:08

It appears that people are creating success for themselves, they're accumulating money, wealth, material. But it's an appearance, because if they're acting out of attachment, sooner or later their circumstances will change, the economy will change, the world will change. Then they'll be in trouble. Whereas when you're following these deeper principles of the entrepreneurial mindset theory, you understand that that's the nature of the world. That's the nature of the game that you're playing in the world, that its appearance is impermanent, it's going to change. Then some people ask “Then what is real, what is reality? Why should I create a business if you're saying that everything is moving in a flux and impermanent?” Here's the clincher. There is a reality there, a true foundational, absolute reality that you can stand on, you can count on. But that reality is not the world. It's not the way things appear. The reality is awareness. It goes back to mind. That's why it's mindset, the mind is the one with the thing you're working with. Your consciousness is the one absolute principle in the whole equation. When you're operating from that understanding, you're not delusional, you're not chasing mirages. You're not driving yourself crazy, you're not chasing your own tail and biting your own shadow, as Jung would say.


Debra Maldonado  30:10

We're worrying about things that haven't happened yet. Mark Twain says “A lot of terrible things have happened in my life, most of them didn't come true” or something, I can't remember the exact quote. It's the idea that we worry so much about things that never come to fruition. Then we end up not reaching our dreams because we worry so much. The mind has a negative bias. It's always going to be thinking of what can go wrong, that's the default. With an entrepreneurial mindset, we have to be open to how can things go right for me? How are things going right? Not attachment, but not looking at it through the lens of security, fear, worry, coming from what can be possible because even so-called negative results or feedback that isn't what you planned, how can I learn from this, how can I grow from this? This is an opportunity always, it opens up the possibilities just by making it an opportunity versus locking it down in “That's wrong, I need to make a right turn or a left turn, I need to do things differently”, or just sit there and beat yourself up, or give up. A lot of people give up, they say “I guess it wasn't meant for me, I don't have what it takes.” But we all have what it takes, I want you to know that all of you have what it takes to be wildly successful. If you know how to work with your mind, that's what's going to make it possible.


Robert Maldonado  31:38

These principles give us a choice that we don't have to be successful like other people are, or the way they've done their success. But it's a choice. We're not settling for something out of limitation, out of a sense of “That's all I can do, I can't do anything else.” Whatever choice we make, it's a real choice because we have those options, if we do want to create something big, that is an option for us, we're not limited by our mind. Whereas when people often make those choices, they're doing it out of fear, out of limitation, out of “That's all I think I can do.” That's a very different way of existing in the world. The superpower of non-attachment is in alignment with the deeper principles of mind, consciousness, reality. That's why it's so powerful. When you're acting out of non-attachment, you're creating something out of a higher vision, your higher purpose, you're in alignment with universal principles, you're acting in an absolute reality instead of the apparent reality of how things appear.


Debra Maldonado  33:08

You basically see things as they could be versus as they are. The world is always going to reflect what you believe about your possibilities. Not just reflect it, but also how you respond to the world shows you what you believe about these possibilities. When I was looking for a publisher for my first book, Let Love In, people told me “You don't have a degree in psychology, you're a hypnotherapist, who's going to want to publish your book? You're not famous, you don't have a lot of resources, who are you? No one's going to pick up, you should do self-publishing.” I said “I'm going to do this.” I wrote the book. I got a deal with the largest nonfiction publisher, Wiley, in the world. Everyone, even after that, said “How did you do that? You don't have national fame.” I just believed it. I believed this book needed to be out there. You really can if you hold your mind in the face of adversity, even if everyone around you tells you it's not going to happen. Hold your mind, and it has to come because your mind is that powerful.


Robert Maldonado  34:25

That's the wrap up on the entrepreneurial mindset theory. We hope we inspired you, if you have a vision, if you have an idea, to go for it. It's a great time and place to do this work. Keep in mind that if you lack any of these principles, you can always learn them, you can cultivate them, and that's the key.


Debra Maldonado  35:02

If you don't have resistance, that means you're not really up to something. Resistance is actually a sign that you're on the verge of change. Keep that in mind as well. We'll see you next week on another episode. Have a great week, go out there, face those obstacles, and turn them into opportunities. Take care.


Robert Maldonado  35:23

See you soon.


Debra Maldonado  35:26

Thank you for joining us. Don't forget to subscribe to CreativeMind Soul Sessions. Join us next week as we explore another deep topic where you can consciously create your life with CreativeMind Soul Session. See you next time.